Ok, anyone that knows me probably also knows about my obsession with wedding shows: my current favorites include “My Fair Wedding with David Tutera” (LOVE him!), “Say Yes To the Dress – Atlanta” (my hometown peeps represent!), “BrideZillas” and now after last night, “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding”.

My wedding probably has very little in common with any of these shows, so I don’t watch them for inspiration,  watch them purely for entertainment value. 🙂

As we go through our expenses for the wedding, I can’t help but wonder how awesome we’d be on one of those shows… how much “entertainment value” we’d bring to one of those shows. Can you imagine me, D, my friends and family and their caravan of crazy on “Say Yes To The Dress” or BrideZilla? They’d have a field day!! I absolutely REFUSE to consider “BrideZilla”, because I refuse to stoop to the level of b!tchiness required to make a successful episode of that show.

I don’t think the Gypsy show would be my sort of gig. I don’t even think I’d want it to be! Fortunately, I would make a bad episode of “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding”, mostly because I’m not… well, I’m not a gypsy. That said, their idea of “pimp my wedding” is on the ass-end of what I would consider a lovely wedding. I mean, there’s adding a little sparkle, a little bling to an event, and then there’s this show. That American Gypsy show reminds of what would happen if the Jersey Shore went to far and Snooki said “wow, that’s over the line”… like a Swarovski crystal nightmare. Any show where the new bride moves into a trailer after getting married should either be called “My Big Fat Redneck Wedding” or “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. I swear, I think my wedding would have more in common with a redneck wedding. I’d take muddin’ over booty-shaking gypsy 5 year olds. Straight up.

A great show for me and D would be “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”, or, better yet, “My Fair Wedding With David Tutera”. LOVE HIM! I would pass out from utter happiness if that man were to show up on my doorstep and pimp my wedding. Can you imagine? He turns HOT MESS into HALLELUJAH!! That man could make a couture dress out of a potato sack and turn a Chick Fil A meal into a 7 course meal. Okay, that’s exaggerating but you get the idea. Did I mention I’m obsessed with David Tutera? He’s like, a wedding GURU. Seriously.

I guess in lieu of having someone else pimp out our wedding, D and I will have to pimp our own wedding. Better yet, we’ll let Disney Cruise Lines pimp it out. That’s right, “My Big Fat Cruise Line Wedding” is on!!! I think the package they put together for couples to get married during their cruise is amazing. I’ve even picked out some starfish-shaped bling to add to my bouquet, and there aren’t any gypsies, Snooki look alikes or Bridezillas in sight.

I wonder if TLC would want to pick up our show for a season??

– renee