The “boyfriend bench”: a (preferably air conditioned) location used by boyfriends, fiances and husband as a place to rest your butt while your girlfriend/ fiancee/ wife is shopping. Typical a good location to get wifi so you can play games on your phone.

We really need to get on the wedding wagon and get ourselves registered. We are both REALLY bad at procrastinating given the opportunity, so there’s always the chance that if we’re not on the ball we won’t have a registry started until AFTER the cruise!

I was thinking that we could register at like, Target and Macy’s… maybe Crate & Barrel too? All three places should great great options to find the things we really need for our home and new life together, and to get them for reasonable prices. If our last shopping trip together is any indication of how this will go, I think I will find a good girlfriend to go with me to go do the  Macy’s/ Crate & Barrel stuff and spare D and me both the stress and angst of the gift registry experience.

I mean, I think I could get him on board with going to Target, but he might stab his eyeballs out if I take him to Macy’s or Crate & Barrel. Those stores are simply NOT man-friendly shops. Whenever we go shopping outside of like “man-friendly” stores like Target/ Best Buy/ Lowe’s I can literally SEE his brain checking out as I ask him about Vera Bradley purses, cardigans, furniture, dishes. I don’t blame him. It’s really my fault. What boyfriend cares about such things? And he honestly takes the best way out: he finds the nearest “boyfriend bench” and plops himself down and starts playing games on his phone.

“Boyfriend Bench”… his term, NOT mine.

I looked up the term on Urban Dictionary, and this is what I came up with:

1. boyfriend bench 49 up, 10 down
The bench designated for boyfriends to sit on, usually outside a fitting room, while their girlfriends shop and try-on clothes.
Mark: Dude, I hate shopping with my girlfriend.Ron: Let me guess…she makes you go store to store and hang out on the boyfriend bench.

Prime example of him utilizing the safety of the Boyfriend Bench:

Earlier this week, I drug him to a clothing store while looking for cardigans and twinsets on sale. Within 3 minutes he located the large, upholstered and comfy “boyfriend bench”, plopped down and began playing his “Plants vs. Zombies”. To be honest, I’ve been in that particular store probably 80 thousand times and never noticed that this bench existed. It’s like he had a little built-in homing beacon that drew him in, like a little green Martian being called to the Mothership. As much as I was irritated that he “checked out” on me, I was also in awe. Without any fuss I picked my purchases and collected my boo and we headed home. I learned a lesson that day.

After that enlightening experience (and about three other ones just like it), I finally figured out that sometimes a good way to maintain positive communication in a relationship is to make sacrifices… I find another companion to help me with someof the regsitry stuff, he doesn’t have to sit on the bench and burn throguh cell phone battery playing games on his phone. And honestly? I don’t mind. I’ve scheduled some time to go with a friend to help, and will enlist D’s assistance with Target (again, read: MAN-FRIENDLY) after I’ve learned alittle of what’s required during the registry process. I’m pretty sure I can set him loose in Tar-jay with one of those procing gun thingies and let him tag stuff ot his heart’s content. It’s a win-win, right?

Any suggestions on things to register for? Besides boyfriend benches and cardigans?? :p