Archive for June, 2012

Okay, yall remember when I referred to myself as a Broke A$$ kinda bride?? If not, I’ve noted it  here for your reading pleasure.

Recently a couple of friends brought David Tutera’s wedding design contest to my attention, and I decided to enter.  As you may already know, I am IN LOVE with David Tutera (if you didn’t know, I raved about it here). The thought of winning this contest makes me wet my pants just a teeny bit.

Anyhoo, in order to enter the contest you have to create a pinterest board that expresses my “wedding style”, using pins and posts from the Bridal Guide. Here’s the trick: you can only have 12 pins. It took me a month of fiddling around, adding pins and deleting pins to get down from 46 to 12, I finally submitted my board last night!

Wanna take a look? There’s a screenshot below, and here’s the link: Renee’s David Tutera Pinterest Board.

Take a look and wish us luck!!


The Breakfast of Champions and Chunky Brides everywhere is a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit on top.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say this looked downright tasty! FOOLS!

I can deal with larger than normal thighs, but I want my pre-baby-weight looking midsection and flabby “winged bat” arm bits gone! How can I wear a strapless dress and look like my arms are going to fly me away at any minute??!? I don’t want to go down the aisle looking like I’m attending a shotgun wedding because I’m expecting. (I’M NOT expecting!)So oatmeal for breakfast it must be.


Keep in mind, this isn’t the fancy-schmancy Quaker oatmeal, that’s all delicious and flavored. Nope. That’s stuff’s my favorite thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner but when you are trying to decrease your sugar intake and lower your cholesterol AND lower your calories, the fancy flavored stuff’s gotta go.


 I’ve got a TUBE of oatmeal, like that kind that your grandma would make on the stove on a cold winter day, and sprinkle some brown sugar on top and send you off to school on. I added blueberries and bananas and a hint of brown sugar. To “treat” myself, I even served it in my favorite cereal bowl, with Winnie-the-pooh and friends frolicking around the outside. I know – I’m a big old kid.


Each bite alternates between “not too bad” and “who put cardboard in my cereal bowl?” The burst of blueberries and bananas are tasty and yummy, and the oatmeal sans brown sugar and fruit (guess  I didn’t mix it up too well) is depressing and bland and very gross. I wonder if this is what hot cereal is institutions from the 1900’s used to taste like.

FACT: Oatmeal should not make you go “thank God THAT’S over” when you finish eating.


Whatevs – if it helps me to get my fat a$$ back on the weight loss wagon, then I’ll eat oatmeal everyday!! Wonder if a little cream would make it better… do you think Bailey’s has a lot of calories???

Good-bye, donuts. Sayonara, Arbor Mist.

Losing weight is one thing, but having an end date and specific goal is even tougher!

If you’re thinking “Your name is not Heather”, then you would be correct 🙂

We’ve got, what? over 15 months until the wedding? While some people say “plenty of time! Rest and relax!” I think of it as a great opportunity to take my time and really think out some of the cool things I want to do… like BRIDESMAID INVITATIONS!!

I got a bit Pinterest-happy and decided to finally try one of the cool ideas I’d “re-pinned” to my Beach Bridesmaid Board… while mine didn’t turn out exactly like the inspiration, I still think I did a pretty good job:

What do you think? It’s my first Pinterest project. This one seemed to turn out pretty well, so I’ll be experimenting with others as we start planning the wedding. If you’re interested in checking out my pinterest boards. You can view them here.

Fingers crossed that these cute invites will melt the hearts of some of my close friends and persuade them into putting up with my wedding mania for the next 15 months. Wish me luck!!!

It’s funny how getting engaged seems to gain you entrance into the “secret circle”. I’ve had more people share stories about their weddings than I could ever ask for. Sometimes the advice/ story time is helpful, and sometimes it’s downright weird and unsolicited. Example:

About two months ago, shortly after getting engaged, D and I were in the Barnes & Noble. I wanted to find the perfect wedding planning book, and he was kind enough to come along with me to the B&N to assist me in my quest.

We must have been there 45 minutes to an hour, easily. The wedding/ self-help section was stationed at the door to the B&N storage area, giving us a good view as one of the associates ferried books in and out of the stockroom by the cart load. By the fifth round out, we’d sparked some light witty banter, which really helped us to NOT yank our hair out by the roots. By the end, I was sitting indian-style in the self-help section, surrounded by every type of book, binder, bridesmaid guide, wedding toast etiquette and Southern Living Guide to Weddings ever made. We were both readily confused, and a little tired. And this was just buying the wedding planner! Wait until we pick out invitations!!!

We (finally) select a wedding planner and an etiquette book, and head to the front. The associate that we’d bantered back and forth with was there to check us out, and upon seeing our selections felt that the checkout process was a perfect time to add to our camaraderie with stories from her own wedding.

Apparently at HER wedding, the photographer brought an assistant/ intern, and the assistant/ intern cut herself on SOMETHING… the SOMETHING doesn’t really mattered. What MATTERS is that there was blood everywhere, and it got on the bride’s dress. There were bloodstains from the assistant/ intern in all of her pictures. Eventually, the photographer had to photoshop them out, and the good news is she got the pictures for free.

Now, this is an interesting story, for lots of reasons, but the only thing I could think of at the time was “why is she telling me this story? How is this supposed to make me feel confident that our day will be wonderful, and happy and bloodstain-free?” I immediately felt selfish that I was thinking this way. She was only trying to be helpful, and here I was acting like a jerk.

I can’t help but wonder, is there an etiquette rule for this? I mean, here we were, buying an etiquette book, but I didn’t see anything in the book that would cover a situation like this. Am I supposed to say “Wow, thanks for over-sharing your horrific story with me. I really feel like we bonded over that story” or is it better to say ” Oh no! How awful. I’m glad everything came out alright in the end”.

Ok, now I’m being a jerk. I know better. The truth is, I don’t need an etiquette book to tell me what was the right response. I know I should have followed the same steps that any hospitality person knows all too well: LEAD.




Discuss & Direct

I guess technically it should be called LEADD. 🙂

LEADD is a coping mechanism that’s great for everyday life, whether you’re talking about a blood-stained wedding dress, or a new mother is sharing the intimate details of nursing, giving birth and baby poo. It’s a pretty decent guideline that will help keep you out of trouble by saying the wrong thing and smooth away any awkward situation created by the offensive party.

So from now on, whenever anyone shares their horrific wedding stories with me – everything from assuring me I will cry constantly, that it’ll rain on my wedding day, that I will be depressed, or pooped on my someone’s child – I’ll simply LEADD!

Ha! Take that etiquette books. Perhaps there should be a separate chapter on this: Things to Say When Someone Tries to Rain (or Bleed) On Your Wedding Parade.

The “boyfriend bench”: a (preferably air conditioned) location used by boyfriends, fiances and husband as a place to rest your butt while your girlfriend/ fiancee/ wife is shopping. Typical a good location to get wifi so you can play games on your phone.

We really need to get on the wedding wagon and get ourselves registered. We are both REALLY bad at procrastinating given the opportunity, so there’s always the chance that if we’re not on the ball we won’t have a registry started until AFTER the cruise!

I was thinking that we could register at like, Target and Macy’s… maybe Crate & Barrel too? All three places should great great options to find the things we really need for our home and new life together, and to get them for reasonable prices. If our last shopping trip together is any indication of how this will go, I think I will find a good girlfriend to go with me to go do the  Macy’s/ Crate & Barrel stuff and spare D and me both the stress and angst of the gift registry experience.

I mean, I think I could get him on board with going to Target, but he might stab his eyeballs out if I take him to Macy’s or Crate & Barrel. Those stores are simply NOT man-friendly shops. Whenever we go shopping outside of like “man-friendly” stores like Target/ Best Buy/ Lowe’s I can literally SEE his brain checking out as I ask him about Vera Bradley purses, cardigans, furniture, dishes. I don’t blame him. It’s really my fault. What boyfriend cares about such things? And he honestly takes the best way out: he finds the nearest “boyfriend bench” and plops himself down and starts playing games on his phone.

“Boyfriend Bench”… his term, NOT mine.

I looked up the term on Urban Dictionary, and this is what I came up with:

1. boyfriend bench 49 up, 10 down
The bench designated for boyfriends to sit on, usually outside a fitting room, while their girlfriends shop and try-on clothes.
Mark: Dude, I hate shopping with my girlfriend.Ron: Let me guess…she makes you go store to store and hang out on the boyfriend bench.

Prime example of him utilizing the safety of the Boyfriend Bench:

Earlier this week, I drug him to a clothing store while looking for cardigans and twinsets on sale. Within 3 minutes he located the large, upholstered and comfy “boyfriend bench”, plopped down and began playing his “Plants vs. Zombies”. To be honest, I’ve been in that particular store probably 80 thousand times and never noticed that this bench existed. It’s like he had a little built-in homing beacon that drew him in, like a little green Martian being called to the Mothership. As much as I was irritated that he “checked out” on me, I was also in awe. Without any fuss I picked my purchases and collected my boo and we headed home. I learned a lesson that day.

After that enlightening experience (and about three other ones just like it), I finally figured out that sometimes a good way to maintain positive communication in a relationship is to make sacrifices… I find another companion to help me with someof the regsitry stuff, he doesn’t have to sit on the bench and burn throguh cell phone battery playing games on his phone. And honestly? I don’t mind. I’ve scheduled some time to go with a friend to help, and will enlist D’s assistance with Target (again, read: MAN-FRIENDLY) after I’ve learned alittle of what’s required during the registry process. I’m pretty sure I can set him loose in Tar-jay with one of those procing gun thingies and let him tag stuff ot his heart’s content. It’s a win-win, right?

Any suggestions on things to register for? Besides boyfriend benches and cardigans?? :p